My Twin Flame Romance — Part 21

Dating And Damaged

Kiki Lu Johnson

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Image by Engin_Akyurt on Pixabay

If you haven’t read Part One, I suggest you do that now. There’s some important disclaimers in there I just don’t feel like repeating — so check it out and come back here when you’re done. Kthx.

Alone, broken, and paranoid, my life began all over again.

As much as I wanted to move on and forget what happened, each step forward reminded me of the quicksand I’d been stuck in for so many months. There just wasn’t any escape; Ben was everywhere, in all things.

I remember during the Con from Part 1 and Parts Five and Six, I had fully intended on sharing the experience with Ben. Instead, I sat in my empty apartment lamenting everything. At least until my mom insisted I come out there, even if just to hang out in her hotel room.

2006 Convention Terror

I had my mom pick up his badge earlier in the day, so he couldn’t freely walk around. It wouldn’t have made much difference, but it gave me a small comfort knowing he would have difficulties getting around the Con.

By the time I was convinced to go, it was already dark outside. The 45 minute drive was far too long to contemplate all the ways I could stumble across Ben; by the time I got there, I was a right mess.

Holed up in my mom’s hotel room, all I could do was cry fearfully while blubbering about how terrified I was that he would show up around any corner any moment to tell me how everything I’d ever done was shit and I deserved to suffer for it.

Well, without actually ever saying those things directly, anyway.

After about an hour of that, I mustered up the courage to venture out of the room and into the party areas. She assured me there was no sign of Ben, no need to worry.

Unfortunately, the worst of it was still quite locked in my own mind.

BUT — for another hour or so, I was able to enjoy a bit of socialization. And then, I got overwhelmed. My first real bout of social anxiety happened that night, leading me to want nothing other than to go home and sleep.

Misplaced Love…

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Kiki Lu Johnson

Mother, erotica/romance writer, and gamer. Loves philosophy, psychology, comedy, and of course- sex!