My Twin Flame Romance — Part 28
If you haven’t read Part One, I suggest you do that now. There’s some important disclaimers in there I just don’t feel like repeating — so check it out and come back here when you’re done. Kthx.
The dreams continued to haunt me every 2–3 months for the entirety of 2015. Meanwhile, we had other issues.
I resisted any temptation that might destroy the relationship Sean and I had built. We were too invested in each other, and things weren’t actually that bad; we had so many wonderful elements to our relationship.
He was kind, compassionate, and emotionally available. He let me be me, whatever that meant in any given day. We could talk for hours about the thoughts plaguing my mind — from trauma to Universal truths.
There was just one thing that bothered me…
All Mind, No Body
My earlier decision to stop him from initiating sex to force me to do so had backfired. We had very little physical contact by this point, after years of letting the sex take a back seat in the relationship.
At this point, the sexual side of the relationship looked a lot more like it had with Ben leading up to the worst sexual encounter of my life.
And that’s including being raped while unconscious.
That triggered the fuck out of me, quite literally. About once a month or so, I would become hysterical, screaming about how it seemed like Sean didn’t love me because we rarely even hugged.
Part of that was hormones, but I think mostly it was trauma. I had accidentally soft-balled our love life into a familiar pattern of distance, cajoling, crying, and acquiescence. This worsened both of our sex-related issues, and put a heavy strain on life in general.
Ah, But I Had An Idea!
After much research (thank you, Google), I had come up with a feasible solution: scheduling sex. We would confront our issues one Saturday at a time, coming together to get reacquainted with each other on a more physical level.
I tried all sorts of things:
- Naughty coupons