My Twin Flame Romance — Part 27
Chasing After Unicorns
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If you haven’t read Part One, I suggest you do that now. There’s some important disclaimers in there I just don’t feel like repeating — so check it out and come back here when you’re done. Kthx.
As I settled into the codependent bond Sean and I were building, there were moments I felt pulled away from him. Not quite like the Pull from my youth, mind you. More like light tugs here and there testing at the binding.
Sometimes I fantasized about being with other men (and a woman here or there). Our relationship was open — at least, Sean opened it for me, though I made no such agreement in return — and so technically I was “allowed” to explore any of these if I wanted.
Shame held me back.
Those desires felt like corruption in me. They were the evil part of myself that Ben had exposed and used against me. Sean had redeemed me, forgiven me for giving into it before, but it was my job to keep it contained.
Mutual Self-Exploration
Sometime after Katie left, I became attracted to Sean’s friend (and I think technically boss as well). The guy was married, so regardless of whether Sean consented to my wandering gaze it wasn’t a great idea for his marriage’s sake.
Besides, they had their own problems…similar to ours, but more conventional.
Since we had agreed to reevaluate our commitment in every moment, I felt comfortable talking to Sean about my thoughts and urges. He didn’t dismiss, berate, or leave me. Instead, he listened.
This led to a weekend-long discussion of our entire relationship pasts. Fast depth intimacy.
We revealed our journeys of love to each other, stopping only for food and sleep. I’ve never been as open with another person as I had been that night. Even this story pales in comparison.
I told Sean about Erik, too. How I had wronged him, how I had loved and used him, and all the regret I’d never spoken before came flying out. For a moment, I think we both realized something neither of us wanted to confront…
